Moving Forward: How to Thrive with Depression Series (Part 2)

Welcome back to the Thriving with Depression Series! Thank you for joining me on my adventure!  

To view the full series, check out our archive! As a reminder to new readers, you can start anywhere, even here as articles do not need to be read in any particular order. 

Part 2: How to Thrive with Depression Series  Welcome back! How did last week go? 

If you are new here, last week I discussed step one of learning how to thrive with depression. The assignment is to choose one or two areas in your life that cause the most stress. Then, you are going to reframe your view on these two areas. Each time you have a negative thought about your chosen areas, you are going to write something that you do like about it. For example, I reframed “I find my job stressful because there is so much information” to “I enjoy learning new things at my job.” Please feel free to read last week’s post if you have not done so already. 

If you did not start step one, no worries. You can start anytime. All you need is a pen and paper. 

This is not a classroom; I won’t be handing out grades or checking to make sure you do your homework. (I’d probably just give everyone A’s for showing up so maybe I wouldn’t be the best teacher. Lol). This is a stress-free no judgement zone.  But, in order to get the most out of this process, I do recommend doing the steps. 

If you wanted to start step one but didn’t, what was the reason? Do any of the reasons below resonate with you? 

• You felt it was awkward or silly. This may not be something you are used to doing. It is not unusual to feel a little hesitant about doing something new. Maybe you are concerned that you are worried about what your family or friends would say if they walked by. I felt this way. I didn’t want my family to think “Oh, there goes Jamie again, what is she doing now?” The good thing about this task is you can do it almost anywhere, anytime without anyone knowing. Later down the road, when you are more comfortable, you can explain to them what you are working on.  My family knows I love to write, and they have always been positive about it, but sometimes it just feels so personal. I am just suggesting you write some positive ideas down on paper. I am not asking you to quit your job, join a commune, meditate all day and eat berries. (Although, if that sounds good to you, I’ll give you my address. Pick me up on your way to the commune 😊.)

• Procrastination. If this is your Achilles’ Heel, I recommend psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen’s article “How to Finally Stop Procrastinating” posted 08/03/2021 on psychologytoday.com. How to Finally Stop Procrastinating | Psychology Today She states that procrastination is not rooted in laziness! It can be from perfectionism, anxiety or fear of failure. It is less about avoiding the task but more about avoiding the negative emotions associated with the task. It is so easy to start feeling bad about yourself when you avoid a task. It does make me feel lazy. And the more I avoid it, the worse I feel. It becomes a never-ending cycle. But Dr. Hendrikson gives a few good tips to help overcome procrastination such as: (1) Change “I have to” to “I want to” (2) Aim for greatness, not perfection (3) Change your mood by diving in, not stepping away. This last tip segways into my next point; convincing yourself to do something when you’re feeling depressed. 

• You are depressed. It is a catch-22 with depression. You often don’t feel like doing anything. The smallest task seems feels like someone just asked you to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. Intellectually, you know that you will feel better if you engage in any type of positive activity, but you are too sad or overwhelmed to do anything. The great thing about this task is that you can start with one sentence. There are certain tips and tricks you can do to get yourself to start a task. I use the task method or the timer method. You may have some variation of these methods as well. I make an agreement with myself to either do three tasks at one time or I put on my timer for 5-10 minutes and do as much as I can during that time. You tell yourself you can sit back down or go back to sleep after you are done. That way, it feels like you are walking up Mt. Zion rather than Kilimanjaro. As a side note, I find that I like the timer method for especially large tasks and physical tasks such as cleaning out the garage. That I don’t have the time to really think about it, I just put the timer on and get started.  

I mentioned last time that the two areas I chose were my job and my health. I’m fortunate that I work with many positive people who are always willing to help. The issue is not the people but the workload. Like many fields over time, my field of choice is busier than ever. There are more regulations, more e-mails, more different types of things to do in general. Rather than doing 2-3 different tasks all day long, I find my attention is divided among several tasks during the day. Let’s face it, it is easier to become good at 3 tasks rather than 10. So, I wanted to find a place to work where I had the opportunity to really learn and understand the newer requirements of the field. What is the saying? Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. 

Two years ago, I found the type of job I wanted. However, two months into the job my stress level was very high. In prior years, my stress level would have affected my depression and I would have given up. I used to be good at my job, not mediocre. It was hard on my ego to realize that I had a lot to learn and to realize that I wasn't one of the top people in my department. By this time, I had already started on my path to thriving with my depression. I realized I had to take a step back, reframe my thoughts and start again. That is exactly what I did. I had a thought come to me one day at work. Why do we feel stressed at work but not when playing a game? What if I treated my work like a game? Ok, so what kind of game? Maybe not my favorite childhood game- Clue. Colonel Mustard committed the murder in the conservatory with a candlestick? No, that didn’t sound right. Ok, maybe something different. A new game. The In Box game. How many e-mails could I organize and review in my e-mail In Box per hour? Yes, that sounded more appropriate. So, I reframed my thought from “Oh, no I have 200 e-mails I have to read!” to “How many e-mails am I able to look at over the next hour?” If I get a certain amount done, I am rewarded with 5 minutes to do whatever I want.”  So, I no longer go to work every morning. Instead, I start my computer and get ready for my game. 

Next, I am going to give you step two. 

Don’t worry about getting behind. I break the steps down into small tasks. So, when you are ready to start this process, you have the info you need.  

Step Two: Read aloud the information you have written down. As you continue to reframe your ideas using pen and paper, read them out loud! 

No whispering or mumbling. 

It needs to be said with conviction. 

By activating your auditory sense, it ingrains the idea into your brain. 

An idea on a piece of paper is good but it needs to get into your head for it to really be useful! You need to believe it. 

How long and how many times? There is not a hard and fast rule for how many times. For now, you are going to say it whenever you need to hear it. 

Words turn into thoughts. 

Thoughts turn into beliefs. Beliefs turn into you.