Holiday Edition: How to Thrive with Depression Series

Welcome back to the Thriving with Depression Series! Thank you for joining me on my adventure!  

To view the full series, check out our archive! As a reminder to new readers, you can start anywhere, even here as articles do not need to be read in any particular order. 

Welcome back! I feel the need to interrupt my Thriving with Depression Series to address a very important topic: thriving during the holidays!

We are now fully into the holiday season! The holidays can be a lot of fun but they can also be stressful. I like the decorations, the movies and surprising others with gifts. But the cooking, cleaning and preparations can be daunting. Add to this, visiting relatives we may find challenging to be around, and the merriest season of the year may become the scariest season of the year! 

It seems like everyone has the following relatives:

• The sweet Aunt Rosa who baked 6 desserts just for you and doesn’t understand the term “gluten sensitivity.”
• The well-meaning but cranky Uncle George who believes it is his life mission to impart his political views during dinner.
• The odd cousin Ed who looks like he had too much to drink and, you suspect, grabbed food off your plate when you weren’t looking.
• Grandma Maria, who insists her Chihuahua Buddy is great with people, but who looks like he is waiting to take a bite out of you.

If you find yourself feeling stressed or stretched during the holidays, here are some tips to make your season merrier:

Don’t forget that no one’s holiday/holiday season is perfect! But that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy yourself. My Thanksgiving week definitely did not go as planned. Within a period of 5 days we dealt with: a bad upper respiratory infection, a mild heart attack, a mild stroke, COVID-19 and a car accident resulting in the total loss of a vehicle. This led to 1 emergency room visit and 2 hospitalizations. The good news is that we are all healing. The frustrating news is that our original plan was to go on a hike, cook a homemade dinner and drive around to see holiday lights. So, you might be asking, what could possibly be enjoyable about my holiday? Well, besides the fact that we are grateful to have survived everything, there were a few things. Our daughter had the chance to visit with a new friend. We ordered a Thanksgiving dinner which was very good. Thanksgiving evening, we enjoyed watching a cute Christmas movie. And we did get the chance to drive by some cool holiday lights. Also, sometimes when your day is not going well, it feels even better than usual when you finally get to sit down and do something fun.

Don’t get overly hungry. Becoming hungry does not help anyone. 98% of the time I become unreasonable or stressed out, lack of food or poor food choices is part of the equation. A few years ago a food brand came out with a cute slogan: You aren’t you when you’re hungry. They were definitely taking about me. Lol. Don’t worry, I am not telling you to only eat tofu, turkey and vegetables during the holidays. But I am recommending not to leave the house without eating something of nutritional value. And, before you head over to the dessert table, make sure sugar isn’t the only ingredient in your diet that day. I personally always carry a protein bar in my purse or backpack. If dinner is delayed or I can’t stop to get something to eat, I have something with me. And, if you worry about offending your host by eating before everything is ready, you can excuse yourself to the bathroom or the car and discreetly consume your protein bar. 

Pretend you are a television producer looking for characters for your next series. There are so many sitcoms, especially comedies, that include a mix of people with a variety of personalities. So, if you are at a gathering with some of the relatives I mentioned above, take a step back. Pretend you are looking for actors to play to star in your next television show. Let’s say you need a smart character, a beautiful character, the odd guy and the silly lady for your upcoming show “The Smith Family.”. Would your relatives/friends around the table fit the bill for the characters you need? Is your cousin Ed odd enough for your show? Why or why not?

What about Grandma Maria, would she be able to play the silly lady character? You can interact with these characters but you can’t get too involved because it will interfere with your job. This tactic is great for several reasons:

• This tactic lets you take a step back emotionally since you need to evaluate these people. You can’t do that if you are in the middle of a heated debate.
• It helps you see your friends/relatives in a different light
• It keeps your mind from dwelling on your problems and issues. Each time you start to drift to the negative talk/thoughts in your head, make yourself refocus on your task of creating the next hit television show. (And, by the way, let me know when your show is on. I would love to watch it. Lol).

Lastly, nothing helps like preparing. Aside from making sure you don’t let yourself get too hungry, there are other ways you can prepare. You wouldn’t show up to a swim meet without a bathing suit or a 5K without your tennis shoes. Right? Watching a funny holiday movie or thinking about the things you DO like about your relatives might prove helpful. Perhaps bringing old family photographs might get everyone talking and laughing. Regardless of what you choose to do, get yourself in the mood before showing up. 

I hope you have many fun and enjoyable memories this holiday season. And don’t forget, many good or funny holiday stories arise from events that don’t happen just right!