Jamie's Corner: The Problem

What is Jamie's Corner? 

In the movies, I am not the elegant lady that walks down the stairs and charms her guests with grace and beauty. I am the one that trips on her gown, spills wine on her new dress and tries to carry on a conversation with spinach stuck in between her teeth. Years ago, it used to affect my sense of self and make my depression worse. But I no longer see it that way. A writer once told me anything that does not go smoothly in life makes for a good story. I agree. And I have lots of stories.

View the full archive of Jamie's Corner here.

My story this week: Jamie and the Problem. 

ME: Hello, my name is Jamie and I have a problem.

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: Hello Jamie.

ME: I am here to learn to control my problem. But the temptation is all around, practically on every corner. I can even get it delivered at home.

MEETING ATTENDEE #2: I sneak out when my husband thinks I am at still at work and come home with a little something. I hide it in the garage. I feel so guilty, but I have trouble stopping.

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: And it seems like you can get it anywhere. I, well, I picked up something on my way out of the drugstore.

ME: Do you do it socially or alone?

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: Both.

ME: Ouch.

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: Yes, I know. 

MEETING ATTENDEE #2: Oh, yes. You know the one I have trouble with? It starts with “Ama”

ME: Oh, yes, I know the one. Amass More Stuff Delivery Service.

MEETING ATTENDEE #2: I have trouble with Buy Everything Now and Spend All Your Money.com

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: Tell me about it. My Achilles’ Heel is I Want Your Money and You Need More Shoes.

ME: I have trouble with Old Army. I buy everything there.

MEETING LEADER: I see some people brought contraband from the Shoe Palace next door. Could you please remove your items? They do not belong in this meeting.

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: (whispers) What does she expect? They were having an extra 20% off sale today only!

ME: How long have you been attending Spending Anonymous Meetings?

MEETING ATTENDEE #1: Oh, I just started tonight.