Jamie's Corner: I Need Insurance!

What is Jamie's Corner? 

In the movies, I am not the elegant lady that walks down the stairs and charms her guests with grace and beauty. I am the one that trips on her gown, spills wine on her new dress and tries to carry on a conversation with spinach stuck in between her teeth. Years ago, it used to affect my sense of self and make my depression worse. But I no longer see it that way. A writer once told me anything that does not go smoothly in life makes for a good story. I agree. And I have lots of stories.

View the full archive of Jamie's Corner here.

My story this week: Jamie and I Need Insurance!

I have three dogs. Leonard, the Corgi Chihuahua, is the oldest at 14. Leonard has a disc bulge in his lumbar spine and high blood pressure. JD, the 8 year old Pekinese, has bone loss in his jaw for which he needs to see a veterinary dentist. Since we cover our other dependents under our insurance plan, it made sense to me to try and get Leonard and JD added to the plan. Especially since our deductible is almost met.

HR Department: HR Department. Good morning. 

Me: Yes, I would like to add two of my dependents to my insurance. Their medical care is costing me my whole paycheck.

HR Department: I am sorry to hear that. You will need to fill out the necessary paperwork. But go ahead and give me the info over the phone so I can start the process.

Me: Great. Yes. I want to add Leonard Juniper and JD Juniper to my insurance plan. Leonard is 14 and JD is 8.

HR Department: Ok. We try to fill out demographic information on everyone. Would you be able to tell the nationality of your boys?

Me: Yes, of course. Leonard is Mexican. JD is Chinese.

HR Department: Very nice. You have an international family. 

Me: Yes, it’s pretty cool. But Leonard has a back injury and high blood pressure, and JD has bone loss.

HR Department: That is sort of unusual for children that young.

Me: I need to carry Leonard up the stairs because of his back problem. He also has cataracts.

HR Department: Oh, can’t he use a walker or cane to go up the stairs?

Me: No. He does not have any hands.

HR Department: My goodness. How unusual. Ok, what PCP do you want for Leonard?

Me: Leonard and JD are both under the care of Dr. Sarah Cortright in Mission Viejo.

HR Department: I am unable to find that physician in our system. But when I enter her name in google, she shows as a veterinarian?

Leonard 

Me: Yes, that is correct.

HR Department: Mrs. Juniper, are these dependents animals? 

Me: Yep, they are both dogs.

HR Department: I’m sorry but this insurance is only for people.

Me: Please! Here, let me send you pictures of them.

HR Department: They are adorable. I have a Labrador and a Dalmatian. Maybe pet insurance?

JD

Me: How cool. I guess I’ll look into pet insurance. It’s just that I almost have my deductible met.

HR Department: Yes, I understand completely.