Jamie's Corner: The Woman Who Knew Too Little

In the movies, I am not the elegant lady that walks down the stairs and charms her guests with grace and beauty. I am the one that trips on her gown, spills wine on her new dress and tries to carry on a conversation with spinach stuck in between her teeth. Years ago, it used to affect my sense of self and make my depression worse. But I no longer see it that way. A writer once told me anything that does not go smoothly in life makes for a good story. I agree. And I have lots of stories.

View the full archive of Jamie's Corner here.

My story this week: Jamie and The Woman Who Knew Too Little!

I can be scatter brained at times. I often wonder how I would do as a new employee on the bomb squad.

Officer Flores: Welcome to the bomb squad Officer Juniper. Did you finish all of your courses?

Me: Yes, sir. I finished and passed all of my classes. But it takes me a couple of times doing something
to become comfortable with it.

Officer Flores: That is not a problem. You will be going out with me or the other team for the first 5 times. Once you are ready, then you will be on your own.

Dispatch: We have bomb threat on West Main Street.

Officer Flores:  Ok, we are on our way.

Dispatch: Wait. We have another threat on Hillcrest Street.

Officer Flores:  Juniper, you're going to have to go. There is no one else.

Me:  But sir, I am not ready.

Officer Flores:  There is no other way. Just remember your class.

At the scene...

Police Officer: Officer Juniper, do I cut the red wire or the blue?

Me:  I'm not sure. I don't remember.

Police Officer: Didn't you go through the training?

Me:  Well yes, but I just started. I don't remember everything. Let me get my notes. 

Police Officer: We don't have time. In 5 minutes this bomb is going to explode.

Me:  Don't get so impatient. It will just take me a few minutes.

Police Officer: Officer Juniper!

Me: Ok, cut the blue wire. 

Police Officer: Are you sure?

Me: I don't know. Let me double check.

Police Officer: Ok, we have 3 minutes left. 

Me: Oh don't get so upset. It's not like anyone is going to die.... Wait, scratch that. Ok, ok, it actually is the the red wire.

Police Officer: Are you sure?

Me:  Pretty sure.

Police Officer: You better be. Here it goes. Cutting the red wire. Ok it worked.

Me: Of course. I take good notes. Lol.