Finding You; Your Purpose Explored- Thriving with Depression Series (Part 21)

Welcome back to the Thriving with Depression Series! Thank you for joining me on my adventure! 

To view the full series, check out our archive! As a reminder to new readers, you can start anywhere, even here as articles do not need to be read in any particular order. 

Please see the last two articles Why Am I Here and The Purpose of Life; Getting Better

To Review:

• Why Am I Here? To Become a Better Person
• How? Learning>Improvement>A Better You
• What does it mean to be a better you? Learning who you are and implementing the golden rule (attending to your own needs as well as the needs of others).                      
• How Does Knowing This Affect Your Life? Focusing on this makes your life smoother.

I continue the discussion in this episode: Finding You; Your Purpose Explored. In this article, I focus on the "Learning who you are" part of the equation.

Part 1: What are you good and/or passionate about?

So, tell me about yourself. Sound like an interview question? What are you good at? You should be able to think of 2-3 things right away. It can be anything. Some categories you may want to consider:

• Social skills- are you good at speaking with people or telling if someone is depressed?
• Creativity- drawing, painting, singing, playing an instrument, writing, sewing, etc.
• Technical skills- are you good with computers or devices?
• Leadership- do people tend to follow you? Are you a natural born leader?
• Problem solving- you might make a good detective or troubleshoot declining sales for companies.

If you're at a loss for words, or don't believe that you are good at anything, then you may have to take a
step back to figure this out. What do others consistently say about you? What do you do for a living? What hobbies do you have? Don't confuse lack of practice for not being good at a task. You may have an aptitude for a certain skill or talent. People are born with an aptitude for a variety of talents and skills. How good you become at any one of them depends on how much time and energy you work to develop these skills. Eddie Van Halen was born with a talent for music. He is known as one of the best guitar players and could also play the keyboard. But what if, as a child, he declined to pick up an instrument? Eddie's father was a Dutch musician who could play a variety of instruments. Let's say Eddie decided, for any number of reasons, that he wanted to go into a different field from his father. Maybe he saw his father struggle to get a job or maybe he just wanted to show his independence from his father? We make decisions for a variety of reasons. Eddie would still have an aptitude for musical talent and a passion for music, even if he decided to push his passion aside.  

If you still struggle with this question, then what are you passionate about? Usually, your skills or potential skills align with your passions. What do you enjoy doing or would like to do? Take a few minutes and visualize (and then write down) what your dream job would look like. Write down what hobbies you would pursue if time and money were of no object. When you are doing this exercise, don't think of any obligations or responsibilities. Don't think about what other people would think of you. Just write down what you want. This exercise is for you alone.

I am doing this exercise myself. I am taking my time and doing it over a few days to see what surfaces. 

So far, not surprising to me, my dream job would involve writing, speaking, and educating others on health and health matters.

Probably most of what you wrote down did not surprise you. But was there anything that came to mind that did surprise you? Sometimes in life we follow career paths or hobbies that we believe are good for us or are expected of us. We might try to push some of our passions aside for a variety of reasons including money, time, embarrassment.

Part 2: What is your personality type?

Once you write down what you like and hope to do (if you are not already doing it), the next step is to
look at your temperament. Maybe you have a passion for teaching but don't have patience with very small children. Your temperament might be better with older children, teenagers, or adults. 

You might be wondering what the point of this exercise is. You might be an accountant and don't plan to change your career to a teacher at this point in your life. What good is thinking about what could have been? The point is not to look back on your life to figure what choices were good ones for you and which ones were less suited to you. It is not about regret. It is about you. The point is to learn as much about yourself as possible. Besides, just because you don't plan to change your career does not mean you can't use your passion for teaching elsewhere. 

Think of yourself as Barbara Walters on 60 minutes. You are doing a piece about, well, you. And the
producers of the show want to know as much about you as possible. It is all about you!!!!

Look at your personality in terms of the Big 5 Personality Traits. Individual personalities feature each of these traits in a varying degree. Take notes about these traits and how you see yourself.

• Openness to experience (includes aspects such as intellectual curiosity and creative imagination)
  
• Conscientiousness (organization, productiveness, responsibility)
• Extroversion (sociability, assertiveness; its opposite is Introversion)
• Agreeableness (compassion, respectfulness, trust in others)
• Neuroticism (tendencies toward anxiety and depression)

Down below is a list of 500 character traits to help you identify yourself better. Circle the ones that apply to you. Some of them I find interesting and funny such as cheeky, spooked, saintly, or jolly. I'm not sure if I've just been scared by a ghost or if I am Santa Claus! For fun, feel free to use a crayon. 

The next step, using this information...

You've written down a vision of life based on your talents and passions. You took notes about your personality. Now, what comes next? 

Does anything stand out for you? Does a volunteer opportunity or hobby come to mind? Maybe it is something you are already doing or something new. 

I believe we are born with certain talents and temperaments to use while we are here on earth. Our purpose in life is to use these for the benefit of ourselves and others. Isn't nice to think that we are supposed to do what we like to do?

Of course, life is fraught with responsibilities and complications. Perhaps we are obligated to work at a job we dislike. Maybe culture, family values, financial constraints, or other issues prevent you from doing what you would like. Life is fascinating, but it is definitely not simple. 

So, what do you do when you find yourself in this situation? You try to be as authentic as you can within your given situation. Perhaps your passion is dance but you are unable to do it for physical or other reasons. You can support dancing by attending dance performances, donate money or time to the arts, sew dance costumes, or write about it. That's the exciting part of life! There are so many options available to us! 

Please tune in next week for further discussion of finding your purpose!

Character Traits

Active   Adorable   Adventurous   Affluent   Afraid   Aggressive   Aghast   Agile           Agreeable   Alert   Alluring   Aloof   Altruistic   Ambitious   Angry Anguished   Animated   Annoyed   Antsy   Anxious   Apathetic   Apt               Apprehensive   Appropriate   Arrogant   Argumentative   Artsy   Ashamed               Astonished   Athletic   Attentive   Auspicious   Beautiful   Benevolent            Bewildered   Bitter   Blissful   Bold   Bombastic   Brash   Brave   Brazen   Bright       Brillant   Bubbly   Buggered   Busy   Calculating   Calm   Candid   Capable      Careful   Cavalier   Charismatic   Charitable   Charming   Cheap   Cheeky   Chic      Childish   Chirpy   Civil   Clean   Clever   Coarse   Cocky   Coercive   Colorful             Cold-Hearted   Combative   Committed   Compelling   Compassionate          Competitive   Complacent   Conceited   Confident   Confused    Conscientious   Considerate   Consumed   Content   Contemptuous   Cool   Cooperative   Courageous   Crafty   Creepy   Critical   Crude   Cruel      Cultured   Curious   Cute   Cynical   Dainty   Dangerous   Daring   Dark   Dedicated   Defiant   Delightful   Dependable   Depressed   Determined  Devoted   Different   Difficult   Disgusted   Dishonest   Distressed   Disrespectful         Disturbed   Dizzy   Doubtful   Dubious   Dynamic   Eager   Earnest      Easygoing   Ecstatic   Effective   Efficient   Elated   Elegant   Emotional     Embarrassed   Empty   Enchanting   Encouraging   Energetic   Enraged  Even-tempered   Evil   Exacerbated   Excited   Experienced   Extreme             Exultant   Fair   Faithful   Famous   Fancy   Fascinating   Fashionable          Favorable   Fearful   Ferocious   Fidgety   Fiery   Filthy   Finicky   Fierce                    Flexible   Flirtatious   Foolish   Fortunate   Foul   Fragile   Frail   Frank      Frantic   Free   Fretful   Friendly   Frightened   Frugal   Frustrated   Fun               Funny   Furious   Gallant   Generous   Genius   Gentle   Gifted   Germophobic       Glamorous   Gleaming   Gleeful   Gloomy   Graceful   Gratuitous   Greedy          Green   Grieving   Grief-stricken   Gripping   Grotesque   Grouchy   Grumpy        Gutsy   Handsome   Happy   Hardworking   Harsh   Hateful   Healthy             Heartbroken   Heated   Helpful   Helpless   Hilarious   Homely   Honest         Honorable   Hopeful   Hopeless   Horrible   Hospitable   Hurt   Hyper                     Hypersensitive   Ignorant   Imaginative   Immature   Immodest      Impatient   Impolite   Important   Impossible   Impulsive   Inactive                  Incredulous   Indecisive   Independent   Indignant   Inferior   Influential     Infuriated   Innocent   Inquisitive   Insincere   Insistent   Intelligent            Intense   Irrational   Irresistible   Irritable    Jealous   Jolly   Jovial   Joyful           Jubilant   Judicious   Jumpy   Just   Keen   Kind   Kindhearted   Lanky         Knowledgeable   Lavish   Lazy   Lenient   Light   Likable   Lofty   Logical         Mature   Mean   Melancholy   Merry   Mild   Mindful   Miserable   Modest      Montone   Moody   Morose   Mysterious   Neat   Needy   Nervous   Nervy          New   Nice   Offensive   Ominous   Old-Fashioned   Open   Opportunist            Optimistic   Orderly   Ordinary   Outraged   Ostentatious   Outrageous             Overjoyed   Overwrought   Patient   Overwhelmed   Overzealous   Passionate Peaceful   Pleasant   Poetic   Poised   Polite   Poor   Popular   Positive                Powerful   Precious   Precise   Prejudice   Prepared   Present   Privileged     Prodigal   Proper   Proud   Provoked   Pure   Pushy   Puzzled   Quaint   Quick Quiet   Quirky   Quizzical   Raw   Ready   Real   Realistic   Reasonable   Receptive     Reliable   Relieved   Repulsed   Repulsive   Resentful   Reserved   Resourceful  Respectful   Responsible   Restless   Rich   Rough   Rowdy   Rude       Rugged   Safe   Saintly   Sarcastic   Sassy   Scared   Scatterbrained   Secretive      Secure   Self-reliant   Selfish   Sensitive   Serious   Shaky   Shallow   Sharp         Shrewd   Shy   Sick   Silly   Sincere   Skeptical   Skilled   Sleepy   Slick             Sly   Smart   Smooth   Sneaky   Snobbish   Sociable   Soft   Spooked       Strange   Strict   Straightforward   Stubborn   Studious   Stylish                    Successful   Sulky   Supportive   Suspicious   Sweet   Swift   Tacky     Tactful   Tactical   Talented   Talkative   Tasteful   Tenacious   Tender Tense   Terrified   Thankful   Thoughtful   Thoughtless   Thrifty   Thrilled     Timely   Timid   Tiresome   Tolerant   Touchy   Tranquil   Trendy   Troubled       Trusting   Trustworthy   Truthful   Unbiased   Uncouth   Uncontrollable   Uneasy     Underprivileged   Ungrudging   Unhappy   Uninterested   Unique   Unrefined         Unselfish   Unstable   Unusual   Upbeat   Untrustworthy   Upset   Uptight Useful   Vain   Valient   Versatile   Vicarious   Vicious   Victorious   Vigilant       Vigorous   Vivacious   Volatile   Vulgar   Wacky   Warm   Wary  Watchful   Weak   Wealthy   Weary   Well-read   Wild-eyed   Wild              Willing   Wiry   Wise   Witty   Worldly   Worried   Worrisome   Wrathful Yearning   Young   Youthful   Zealous