Holiday Edition: The Ghost of Christmas Present (Thriving with Depression Series)

Welcome back to the Thriving with Depression Series! Thank you for joining me on my adventure! 

To view the full series, check out our archive! As a reminder to new readers, you can start anywhere, even here as articles do not need to be read in any particular order. 

Welcome to the holidays! Last year I wrote a two-part series of thriving during the holiday season.

Please feel free to re-reread The Holiday Edition: Thriving During the Holiday Season and Holiday Edition: Thriving During the Holidays Part Two. In these two articles I address the following topics:

Expecting the perfect holiday, the dangers of getting too hungry, dealing with challenging people in your life, loneliness, and spending too much. Regarding spending during the holidays, please see our recent article: Show me the $$$: Financing the Festivities. 

This article is The Ghost of Christmas Present.

I enjoy the holidays. I like the lights, decorations, the excitement in the air, baked goods, and people wishing each other well. But the holidays also bring out an array of emotions for me. I feel like I am in Charles Dickens' famous story A Christmas Carol. I am visited by the ghost of Christmas past who shows me wonderful times of Christmas past. Years ago, Christmas was a two-day affair. Christmas Eve was spent with my in-laws. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner, exchanged gifts, and spent time visiting. Christmas Day was spent with my family. We spent another day enjoying wonderful food, exchanging gifts, playing with the kids, and visiting with each other. Times, as they are oft to do, have changed. Most every family member is no longer available due to death, medical issues, or moving away. From 15 down to 5. 

The ghost of Christmas present visits me to show me my current situation. Like the last two years, the current Christmas expects to be quiet and uneventful. The two-day festivity has been replaced with a two-hour dinner. I will don my favorite sweats and share an informal dinner with my loved ones. A few gifts will be exchanged. Then, the holiday will be over until the following year. Time with my family is always welcome. But Christmas does not feel like much of a holiday anymore. I miss it.

The ghost of Christmas future shows me what to expect in the years to come. Fortunately, my actions won't lead to the death of Tiny Tim or my early demise. But disappointment and sadness from the days of the past, without any action to change them, will continue into my future.

So, what to do? Well, like Ebeneezer Scrooge, I need to make some changes. Maybe decorate some more, wear a festive shirt, or start a new tradition. The question I need to ask myself is "what is Christmas to me?' 

Christmas itself is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ as well as the kindness and generosity of St. Nicolas. The great part is that anyone can celebrate the birth of Jesus, no matter your religion. Christian religions believe he is a savior, other religions think of him as an enlightened soul or a teacher of love and respect. Basically, Christmas is celebrating love and generosity. It is celebrating life!

The traditional Normal Rockwell long table filled with friends and family does not match our family. And that is ok. So, what does? Well, we enjoy a variety of food, especially homemade, served buffet style. We enjoy gifts, especially things that we really need. (If any family members are reading this, I really need some supportive slippers.) Nothing is better than getting a gift we can use right away!! My sister and brother-in-law send us high quality snacks and fruit every year. It is so popular in my house that we fight over who gets the last piece. I love wearing festive clothes! I also enjoy Christmas decorations. I also thoroughly enjoy spending time with my family members and engaging in holiday activities. 

My problem is I keep thinking what activity we can all do together, until I finally realized that aside from food and gifts, we all like to do different things. Ice skating, watching Christmas movies, and checking out lights at Knott's Berry Farm is something I can do with my daughter. Talking about video games and looking at Christmas lights in our neighborhood is something I can do with my son. Going Christmas shopping and walking around the decorated mall is something I can do with my husband. Watching the famous Christmas movie, Die Hard, is something I can do with my father-in-law. And then I realized, Christmas is not a day, it is a season. We don't have to do everything together. I can spend time with each family member and enjoy their presence. 

After all, isn't that the best gift of all? The gift of yourself.